The Attack of the MariSues
by S. G. Moffitt
Summary: What is to happen to Hogwarts when it's attacked by the evil Mari and Gari.... er.... Howdoyasayit? The male population seems to be taking care of Mari... but what about Gari? And what is the Can-Can?!


A/N: I was cruising around ffNet when I noticed how everyone turns our favorite characters into Mari-Sues.  
  
Mari-Sue: A female character that is often a much better-looking and acting version of a low self-esteem person. They are also identified as related to a main character, have disturbed pasts, and/or have a crush on a main character. They sometimes are depicted as a child of a horrible trauma who doesn't like to be close to others. Meanwhile, they are usually irresistible to the opposite sex and thoroughly disgust me. The male versions of Mari-Sues are called Gari-Stus.  
  
If you don't like the idea of me making fun of a beloved character of yours, feel free to flame me. They'll only warm my cold house.  
  
Now onto the story.  
  
The Attack of the Mari-Sues  
  
It was a normal day in the school of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Or as normal as they could be in a school where there is no telling when a suit of armor might jump out and sing "La Cucaracha" and dance the Can-Can.  
  
But seeing as this is a story about Mari-Sues, there was a new student on the way. No. make that seven new students. They didn't need help of the train silly! No way! Only normal students use the train. They were arriving in a giant limo even though muggle machines aren't supposed to run in the grounds of Hogwarts. But these weren't normal students.  
  
Anyway, the limo pulled up right as our hero Harry Potter was outside. Er. make that the whole of Hogwarts. I mean, these were special students! They need attention! Dumbledore himself was fidgeting with his robes. It was said that one of the students was even more powerful than him!  
  
Well, as I drag out this introduction, there are people sitting in front of their computers yelling about this very fact so I will continue.  
  
The limo pulled around and without the help of the driver, the doors flew open. A puff of smoke obscured a glance of the people in it as they stepped out, but Harry knew it had to be good because his heart was beating so fast.  
  
Now at this time, Fred Weasley and Angelina Johnson were in a small plot bunny relationship and neither one of them were too concerned with the arrival of the new students. In fact, this is what Fred had to say,  
  
"I don't care for the arrival of these students because it amuses SG when she can place name in her story with even a small tribute such as this."  
  
But, seeing as how I'm easily amused and these students have to arrive sometime, Fred's attention was diverted by a beautiful girl. She had brown hair streaked with purple and was busy getting her equally beautiful sisters in line. They must be the new arrivals. And as not to leave Angelina without a distraction, a rather handsome boy stood to the side looking almost exactly like the girl except he's a guy and really cute.  
  
"What a jerk," Angelina said at the same time Fred said, "She's gorgeous."  
  
Angelina frowned because now she gets to be bitchy and jealous and dodge the attention of the handsome boy.  
  
"What was that Freddy?"  
  
"Nothing Angel."  
  
"Alright then."  
  
But Angel-I mean, Angelina, knew that it was something, and she frowned again.  
  
"Well!" Dumblebore said, breaking up the thoughts of the many swooning girls and boys. "It's time we sorted you! Your last name is (insert abstract or hard to pronounce name here) correct?"  
  
The beautiful girl nodded as did her seven equally beautiful sisters and one brother. "I'm Mari, and this is my brother Gari."  
  
Harry looked at Mari and immediately fell in love. As did Fred, George, Ron, even Draco loved her. Who wouldn't? Such lovely brown hair; down to her knees of course. Isn't that how all beautiful women have their hair? Her eyes were a soft purple making her even more desirable ((A/N: What the hell.)).  
  
"I love you Mari. Even though I do not know how to say your last name and you are disgusting all of the female population of this school," Ron said, getting a sharp elbow from Hermione and a glare from Ginny. Harry on the other hand, nodded his own agreement.  
  
"Beautiful."  
  
Angelina snorted. She was disgusted. Just to show her contempt, she waited until Mari's eyes settled on Fred and kissed him. Hard. She drew away from the Weasley twin with a satisfied smile, but her only reward was a turn of the head. Totally disgruntled, she sat in her own hatred and gripped Fred's hand so he wouldn't run after Mari.  
  
Mari looked at each male member of the school, offering a smile here, a wink there and a suggesting lip tug there. However, her mind was in turmoil. There had already been a show of possession of the redhead. Too bad, she liked him. In other matters, this was a new school, new girls to piss off and new boys to fall head over heels for her. She liked Hogwarts.  
  
Gari sulked in his cute moody way. Mari wasn't the only one who had caught the kiss between Angelina and Fred. Just for that, he was determined to make the tall black girl his. It would be easy. She'd have no idea what was coming to her.  
  
A/N: Yes I am aware the rest of the Mari-Sues have not been introduced. What started out as a small plot bunny turned into a wonderful new idea. Stick with me.  
  
There's a little button down there that would LOVE to be clicked!  
  
V V V V V V V =CLICK!=  
  
(Review ^___^) 


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